“Like, my house has a nice view, because, you know, I was on Friends.” -Matthew Perry
I didn’t realize I loved Friends until the fall of 1998 when I started my freshman year at Penn State. But it would’ve also been impossible for me to have any feelings about the show prior to that semester because – although it first aired nearly four years earlier – I’d never seen it. Thankfully, some of our dorm friends downstairs – who had an enviable two-room palace, complete with its own bathroom (it turns out that sleep apnea and giant oxygen tanks have their perks, after all) – brought me to my senses with a weekly gathering to watch the epic sitcom. After that, in a land before streaming, I learned I could watch older episodes of Friends in syndication on two different channels each evening. And on Thursdays, a new episode would air for a total of three shows – or an hour-and-a-half – of pure enjoyment.
Like Matthew Perry’s requirement that his houses had nice views once he made it big, I think Friends was initially a form of escape or distraction for me. Thankfully, however, I was simply looking for comfort away from my friends and family back in Pittsburgh, or perhaps an excuse to procrastinate on some studying – not avoidance of rampant alcoholism and opioid addiction that terrorized the real Chandler Bing’s life throughout his entire adult life. Whatever the reason, I enjoyed everything about Friends, including watching it and quoting it with real friends in our South Halls dorm rooms. [If you’re a Friends fan, I highly recommend the audio version of Mr. Perry’s book, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing, so that you can hear it in his familiar voice.]
Once he landed the life-changing role on Friends, Matthew Perry lived most of the time in a way that, in investment terms, I’d describe as a barbell strategy: incredible financial and career success on the one hand, “balanced” by an omnipresent battle with depression and addiction on the other. The only problem is that – in real life – these things don’t balance out the way a portfolio of cash and highly volatile stocks otherwise might, leading to some happy medium middle ground. Instead, it just gives a person a ton of money to fund their habits and countless stints in fancy rehabs.
Could I BE any more sentimental?
I learned from his book that Matthew Perry and his childhood friends created the hilarious, abnormal, and infectious cadence of Chandler Bing while growing up in Canada; they’d talk that way because they thought it was funny (which it was). When he read the script, “Matty” instinctively knew it was how Chandler should talk, and I found that to be a beautiful narrative. Not only was “Chandler speak” something only Matthew Perry could have brought to the table, but it’s an easily identifiable ingredient of the show’s overall success and one that led to him becoming the most easily quotable character. The stars aligned, and he was the precise missing puzzle piece needed to complete the cast of Friends.
And with that, as an homage to the late Matthew Perry, let’s use some Chandler Bing quotes as jumping-off points for more insights on investments and Alts. Here we go!
“So it seems like this internet thing is here to stay, huh?”
If you’re old enough, you may remember some dismissive reactions related to the internet back in the ‘90s (and perhaps it was even you doing the dismissing), similar to what Chandler poked fun at in this quip. There probably still exists some niche group of those who deny the existence of the internet (for which I’d imagine the Venn diagram overlap with “flat-earthers” may be exceptionally high), but – at this point, it’s not an exaggeration to say that the internet has infiltrated nearly every aspect of day-to-day life. Case in point: I’m on a plane at the moment, and the internet is what enabled me to listen to podcasts while getting ready, get a car to the airport, check my bags, get through security, order my breakfast, and how I’m able to work pretty seamlessly during this flight.
All we have to do now is replace “internet” with “blockchain,” and Chandler’s quote remains as relevant as ever. Whether or not particular cryptocurrencies – like Bitcoin and Ether – are here for the long term is a reasonable debate, but it’s apparent to me that the technology behind them (i.e., blockchain) isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. It has become the foundation on which modern tech solutions are built, and it will be essential to battling misinformation (e.g., deepfakes) as we continue forward in this brave new world.
The most compelling argument for the endurance of blockchain is this: “Web3,” which is effectively the total rewiring of the internet itself – but going beyond what has previously been possible thus far – is built on…you guessed it…blockchain technology! So, if the internet is here to stay, and the internet is now built on blockchain, then I’ll let you conclude whether we should expect to see more or less blockchain-based solutions going forward. Web 3 is blockchain.
“I’m glad we’re having a rehearsal dinner. I rarely practice my meals before I eat.”
While this is a comical way to think about rehearsal dinners, it’s also relatable to one’s financial situation. After all, imagining a dry-run of real-life situations is sort of what we’re doing throughout the financial planning process:
- Income protection: if you’re disabled tomorrow, is your income protected? What level of coverage or cash reserves would be appropriate to combat this?
- Retirement planning: pretend you no longer work. How do you create an income?
- Portfolio construction and risk tolerance: If the market goes down 30% tomorrow, what do you do (hint: the correct answer is nothing, as long as you have an appropriate plan)?
- Tax planning: if we do some Roth conversions this year, how do we believe that affects current liabilities, and how should we expect it to play out over the long term?
- Estate planning: if you get sick, who can make financial and healthcare decisions on your behalf? If you die, who will care for your loved ones, what happens to your assets, and how much of a burden is on your heirs to manage the estate-settlement process? Are there enough assets (investments/insurance) to fulfill your wishes?
You heard it here first. Financial Planning is the rehearsal dinner of wealth management.
“It’s a Sunday. I don’t move on Sundays.”
It’s okay to have some rules to live by; some degree of discipline is vitally important to success, health, and wellness. However, it’s also essential to keep an open mind and not to get too stuck in our ways. The world is constantly evolving (think Alts, blockchain, and medical research as some low-hanging fruit), and we will surely miss out on some quality of life and investment opportunities if we are entirely closed-minded. If the house is on fire next weekend, then not moving on Sunday is arguably a lousy strategy (but I guess that depends on your goals 😊).
If you’re determined not to invest in Alts, I’d argue that there will be a lot of opportunity cost to your strategy, as traditional stocks and bonds cannot provide exposure to private markets, where a lot of business (lending and growth) gets done. Markets and investment structures have evolved.
“I’m full, and yet I know if I stop eating this, I’ll regret it.”
We’re all human. Sometimes, we get greedy and want too much of something without paying enough attention to the related tradeoffs. There are several investors people I’m in touch with who are sitting on appreciated large-cap technology stocks. Were they purchased with a long-term plan in mind? No. They were typically bought simply because of brand recognition; thus, these trades have worked well. That’s great! But now the issue is that those same people are a) concerned about paying taxes and/or b) afraid that those same stocks may continue to go higher after they’re sold – both of which are preventing them from constructing an appropriate investment portfolio.
“Not paying taxes” and “FOMO” are not investment strategies that will help to work toward long-term goals systematically. Overeating is unsustainable and can cause numerous health issues – particularly when it comes to sugar and other unhealthy foods (I don’t think people overeating salad is a core cause of the ongoing health epidemic). Similarly, while carb-loading your portfolio with the hot stock ideas of the day may feel good for a short while, responsible portions of suitable investments (backed by a plan) are needed to sustain wealth appreciation over time.
“Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there’s resistance.”
Seriously. Be careful.
“Where?”
“Where” is Chandler’s final quote and the last word of the final Friends episode (“The Last One”) – meant to give us a little levity after a teary-eyed scene of the cast saying their goodbyes to the empty apartment.
Reflecting on the death of others is a good way for us to consider how we’d like to be remembered and what we’d like to be remembered for, which can be at the core of thoughtful legacy and estate planning. Matthew Perry left quite a legacy for us in his relatively short time here on Earth – one that I’m personally very grateful for. Rest in peace.
Until next time, this is the end of alt.Blend.
Thanks for reading,
Steve
P.S. for those wondering, “Miss Chanandler Bong” was how Chandler’s weekly issue of TV Guide was incorrectly addressed.
