Earlier this week, the news broke—Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are getting married! With over 30 million likes on their Instagram announcement, it’s safe to say America’s favorite couple is making headlines.
While you might be hoping for celebrity marriage advice, today’s article is rooted in personal experience and practical wisdom.
Whether you’re newly engaged like Travis and Taylor or a seasoned spouse looking for a refresher, let’s talk about money and marriage.
A Childhood Disconnect
Growing up in Alaska, many of my friends’ dads worked on “the slope”—the North Slope oilfields. These jobs paid well, with workers putting in 80–90 hours a week for two weeks straight, then getting two weeks off.
When they returned home, it wasn’t uncommon to see a new truck in the driveway or a snowmobile in the garage. But soon, I started hearing from my friends about “money fights,” mounting debt, and second jobs. It didn’t make sense to my ten-year-old brain. These families had good incomes… money shouldn’t have been a point of stress for these families, but it happened to be THE point of stress.
As I grew older, I realized this wasn’t unique. Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in marriage.
The Logistics of Love
My wife and I got married in 2014. We’re still young in our journey, but we’ve learned a few things along the way. Merging finances involves both logistics and love – let’s start with the logistics.
A Strong Foundation
- Merge Accounts: Transparency is key. Joint accounts promote awareness, simplicity, and accountability. Surprises are rarely good in financial matters.
- Set a “Red-Line”: This is the minimum amount of money you need in the bank to feel secure. For some, it’s $20,000. For others, it’s $200,000. Talk to your spouse and know your number.
- Estate Planning: Medical directives, financial powers of attorney, wills, and trusts (if needed) should be in place.
- Insurance: If you’re planning a family, life and disability insurance are essential. Also, ensure coverage for catastrophic events – health crises, natural disasters, etc. The safety net of insurance goes a long way towards averting financial stress.
The Heart of the Matter
Beyond the X’s and O’s, there are more qualitative aspects of money and marriage.
Entering a covenant relationship (marriage) is sacred. While I’m not a counselor, here are a few principles that have served us well.
Leave and Cleave
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24
When the wedding vows are complete, two become one. It’s not just for the Instagram post… this is a moment at which the couple becomes a family unit. A family unit should:
- Learn and grow together
- Make decisions together
- Be transparent and united
- Provide for itself (without relying on a parental safety net)
A Bottle of Wine
Grab your favorite beverage, sit down with your spouse, and open the lines of communication. This should not feel like a chore.
Here are a few conversation starters:
- Define Roles: Who handles what? One spouse may love investing, while the other excels at organization and paying bills.
- Earliest Money Memory: Ask your spouse, “What’s your earliest memory of money?” This reveals a lot about how someone grew up and their relationship with money.
- Set Goals Together: Dream big, plan together.
- Celebrate Wins: Encouragement goes a long way.
- Spending Thresholds: Decide how much each person can spend (or give) without consulting the other. For some, it’s $50. For others, it’s $5,000.
- Track Spending: Whether it’s a budget or another methodology, some form of tracking your spending together is necessary. As a united couple, you should have a general understanding of how much you spend, what are the biggest expenses, etc. The goal is awareness.
Avoid Going Rogue
One common pitfall is when one spouse becomes the sole financial decision-maker – “going rogue”. While division of labor is healthy and encouraged, major decisions—starting a business, hiring a financial advisor, changing jobs – should be made together.
If you feel the need to hide a financial decision from your spouse, it’s likely:
- A bad financial decision
- Harmful to your marriage
Whether it’s a gambling habit, a sudden change in investment strategy, or a large charitable gift, transparency is non-negotiable. And if you make a mistake, own it. Do not let your pride get in the way of financial and relational health.
Debt: Tool or Trap?
Spouses often have different views on debt. Some were raised to avoid it at all costs. Others see it as a prudent tool (think: mortgage), while aggressive investors might see it as a path to prosperity via leverage.
Every situation is unique, but here’s one consistent takeaway from working with hundreds of couples over the years: Rarely do I ever meet someone who regretted paying off debt.
Plans Fail for Lack of Counsel
Get professionals involved. Whether you’re recently engaged (like Travis and Taylor) or decades in, seek wise counsel.
- Pre-marital counseling can lay a strong foundation.
- Mentors and elders can offer perspective.
- Financial advisors can turn stress into strategy.
“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” – Proverbs 15:22
Final Thoughts
While Travis and Taylor may have unique aspects to their union, there are takeaways for all of us.
- Money is one of the most common sources of disagreement in marriage.
- You can do something about it!
So, go grab that bottle of wine, make sure you have the financial foundations laid, get on the same page with your partner, and talk to your advisor.
