By Accident
Have you ever attended a walk for breast cancer? Or perhaps a fundraiser for Alzheimer’s research? A discussion with almost any attendee will lead to a conversation about how this disease or cause hits close to home for them. Whether it’s their own battle or that of a loved one, you can connect the dots from their passion to their support.
Our experiences can drive our beliefs and behaviors.
Last week my wife got in a car accident. I’ll be upfront: it was a fender bender, and everyone is okay. Regardless, it still hit close to home.
We were hosting some guests from out of town. My wife took a few of them to Target for some shopping. I was at work. My kiddos were being a handful, so she decided to drive around the parking lot while waiting for our guests to wrap up. A few screaming kids, a not-so-obvious stop sign, and an opposing teenage driver led to about $4,000 of damage to our minivan.
Perhaps an overused term here on TOM, but this experience was and is game film: actual footage of the collision (pun intended) of life and financial planning. So, just as we would with game film, let’s review what happened and four learnings we can glean from my experience last week.
(1) Service Matters Most
I always appreciate a silver lining. In this case, the service from our insurance provider was simply incredible.
We have an outside partner that we use as a resource to advise and guide our clients regarding property and casualty insurance. A few years back, he reviewed the coverage for our family. He helped educate us on what modifications were needed, and he helped put the appropriate protections in place.
Once I knew my family was safe, I was a bit overwhelmed about what was going to happen next. I imagined lots of phone calls, hold times, paperwork, fax machines, back-and-forth, and added responsibilities to my already full plate. This is absolutely not what happened.
I contacted Kevin and let him know what happened. He showed a perfect balance of sympathy and direction/ownership. Kevin mapped out the next steps and basically handheld the process from the repair to the rental car. It takes a lot for me to be impressed with service, and I was jaw-dropped.
My anxiety and frustrations were misplaced. What I thought would be a root canal experience felt much more like a valet service. It reminded me that service matters most.
(2) Trust the Process
One of the difficult things to navigate in the fog of it all was reminding everyone that there is a process. In the moment, in the emotions, in the shock, people forget that there is a process for when you get in an accident. The real priority is to exchange information and report the incident to the carriers.
My wife felt bad. She felt for the young girl, and she wanted to do whatever she could to make it better. I found myself comforting my wife, reminding her that it is called an accident because it wasn’t intentional; it was an accident. And that the important part was to follow the process, even if it felt too simple or even insensitive.
The parents of the other driver also wanted to complicate things. Not out of bad intentions, but simply it is difficult to be levelheaded in the midst of what feels like a crisis. Yet, there is a process and one that should be headed in these types of moments.
(3) Reflect on What Didn’t Happen
In life, we only get to see what happened, not what could have happened.
In 1998, Gwyneth Paltrow starred in Sliding Doors – watch the trailer if you are not familiar with it. The movie basically hits a fork in the road; the same scene plays out twice based on whether or not she missed the train. These two options play out simultaneously for the rest of the film. Something as small as missing that sliding door on the train had a drastic impact on her life.
The $4,000 of damage was on the sliding door of our minivan. My little baby girl was sitting right inside that sliding door. Coming from someone who has lost a child before, it is impossible not to reflect on what didn’t happen.
Yes, the what-if game can get you in trouble. It’s not somewhere you should live, but perhaps somewhere you should visit. Visit that what-fi to reflect, to be thankful, and to get perspective. Life is hard. There are a lot of sour moments, but there are also a lot of almost moments that are worth reflecting on.
My kids are safe. My wife is ok. And I am very, very thankful.
(4) Leaning on the Advice of Others
When Kevin was reviewing our legacy policies and implementing changes, there were a lot of nuances that he guided me on. I trusted him. He lives and breathes insurance, so I leaned on his wisdom. I remember one of his suggestions was appropriate coverage amounts for a rental car in the case of an accident. I shrugged it off because we had never been in an accident, so that I couldn’t relate. He explained its importance, added the coverage, and talked about the nuisance it would be if we didn’t have this feature.
We trusted Kevin. We leaned on him for advice in an area that was beyond our expertise or familiarity. I am glad we did.
It’s hard to trust people in this world. I get it. We always wonder what their incentive, angle, or motivation is. Yet, there is beauty and power when we can develop those trusting relationships in the realm of advice and money.
Beyond Car Accidents
As the title states, this one hit close to home. It’s these experiences that give me a better understanding of how insurance works, what to expect, and the importance of planning. It is absolutely an area where it pays to be proactive versus reactive. I also understand that these tidbits of wisdom – service matters most, trust the process, reflect on what didn’t happen, and lean on the advice of others – go far beyond our little fender bender. I hope you can find the application here, and I hope this is an encouragement always to reflect. Life is the best teacher, right? The lessons are all around us.
